Relationships. What does it all mean? Monogamy and commitment and everything else that comes in between; it can be a headache, a heartbreak or even a bit of both. When we find that special someone that puts all of our fears to bed and rescues our sense of belonging it can feel like sacrifice is always worth it. But what happens when sacrifice and compromise doesn’t feel worth it anymore?
We all lose the excitement once deep in a relationship*, there’s no surprise there. The trick is to remind yourself of why. Why you chose that person**, why you fell in love with that person and why it’s worth staying with that person.
It’s important for committed people to remember the factors. It’s also important to remember and think of ways to keep the relationship happy and thriving. New adventures, new projects, relationship building. It doesn’t always have to feel like a chore. Reinvent yourself together! Fall back in love.
When we think about long-term commitment, what do we think of?
1) Trust – Believe in your spouse to maintain the love & affection they have for you. Doubt will creep occasionally, but that’s why trust is such an important issue. (Helps if you keep things new & fresh, which brings us to #2)
2) Excitement & Enticement – Got to keep things interesting and fresh. Going out more, starting new hobbies together, just switching it up in general breeds excitement (or anxiety depending on youor spouse) and will take you both away from the monotony of everyday life.
3) Remember – Remember the love that brought you together and that will be the love that keeps you together. It can even transform into different types of love, settling back with the most powerful love of all; togetherness.
4) Respect – Whether you understand or not, you have to respect that the person you chose for your life needs your support. Without it conflicting directly to your wants and needs, you have to decide when compromise is necessary. (Not–so-new-NEWSFLASH: It isn’t always when it’s most convenient for you either.)
5) Openess – Without #4, you most likely won’t get far with this one. If your spouse doesn’t feel like they have your respect, they probably won’t share with you as openly their emotions and what they’re thinking.
Sure, there are other rules and laws to live by when it comes to love, but I do believe these five are the basic ones.
Trust in your love story, keep things fun & fresh, remember how & why you fell for one another, respect your spouse and be open about your emotions. Relationships can be really fun once you’ve figured it out with the one you love.
*To the ones that don’t lose it, congrats, you’ve got it all figured out. No sarcasm.
**Hopefully it wasn’t settling, or else you’re screwed.